THAT WAS 2014 – PART 3
GET BUSY LIVING, OR GET BUST DYING
When I came to review 2013 from a personal point-of-view a
little over year ago, the blog I put together was a gushing stream
of optimism and romanticism. Looking back, I almost find it uncomfortable to
read. While everything I said was true and absolutely from the heart, there is
a sense of painful inevitability.
GET BUSY LIVING, OR GET BUST DYING
2013 was my first full year in London and it was unmistakably a honey-moon year. A year where I never stopped learning, finding opportunities that I never thought would come my way, and generally just having shit loads of fun. By the end of it, I spoke of so much hope for the future. The inevitability is that, a year on that idealism has been significantly downsized.
My blogging has always been a cathartic, self-affirming process, but this time I'm on a hunt for closure.
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” – George Carlin
Don’t get me wrong. 2014 was far from an ‘annus horribilis’. A lot happened in 2014; there were many many highlights and positives. And I remain as convinced as ever that London is where my future lies.
Yet, I ended 2014 carrying just modicum of cynicism and plenty of trepidation. As I sit here, what was hope last year is uncertainty and unease this, what was professional excitement last year is professional frustration this, what was idealism last year is skepticism this, what was the promise of golden beaches and lazy days in the sun last year is dark English winter nights this…
But there is a positive angle to be had on all that, of course. Because I have found in the last 12 months that with optimism sometimes comes complacency – even an unwillingness to acknowledge and adapt to elements of change going on outside yourself. Cynicism and disquiet can instead, if you let them, bring a sense of determination, a kind of fire. Like a boxer, your guard goes up. And there's a realisation that shit will not just happen for you all the time. Life sometimes leads you down a dead end. Life can promise things and not deliver.
I will always be an idealist at heart. Idealists are so often disappointed. But it was disappointment and frustration with my situation at home that brought me to London in the first place. It's about how you channel that frustration. Making change; not hoping for it.
Yet, I ended 2014 carrying just modicum of cynicism and plenty of trepidation. As I sit here, what was hope last year is uncertainty and unease this, what was professional excitement last year is professional frustration this, what was idealism last year is skepticism this, what was the promise of golden beaches and lazy days in the sun last year is dark English winter nights this…
But there is a positive angle to be had on all that, of course. Because I have found in the last 12 months that with optimism sometimes comes complacency – even an unwillingness to acknowledge and adapt to elements of change going on outside yourself. Cynicism and disquiet can instead, if you let them, bring a sense of determination, a kind of fire. Like a boxer, your guard goes up. And there's a realisation that shit will not just happen for you all the time. Life sometimes leads you down a dead end. Life can promise things and not deliver.
I will always be an idealist at heart. Idealists are so often disappointed. But it was disappointment and frustration with my situation at home that brought me to London in the first place. It's about how you channel that frustration. Making change; not hoping for it.
One of the best aspects of 2014 was getting to go on three holidays - my first trip to Asia, my first trip to Eastern Europe and yet another return to my favourite place of all - Ibiza. All three were equal in their delivery of good company, good humour and timeless, breath-taking experiences. Riding an elephant in Sri Lanka, DJing b2b with Richie Knight in Ibiza and just standing mesmerised by the lighting and lasers at Transmission in Prague are three that stand out. Even the Transmission pre-party at Mecca Club was memorable – actually the most fun I've had in a club all year.
Going on three holidays may have financially crippled me by mid-November, but, in truth, it was worth it. I'm not a well travelled person by any means, but I really felt the value of new experiences and cultures.
Even Ibiza, a place I have been to five times, threw out new experiences - and fulfilled dreams at that. DJing three times in Ibiza and doing so in the company of so many great people was special to say the least.
"But the cherry on the cake was getting to share some time with the Journey crew out there. Musically, their DJs were spot on all week, but more importantly, each one of them showed their class as people. Fun, approachable, warm and full of smiles; it was a privilege to be out there with them. Ben and I have noticed over the course of the last year that not all trance brands or DJs share the spirit and goodwill that we expect from trance music. The Journey crew most definitely do. Ibiza is about the people you share it with. We had the best." [From my Ibiza-Spotlight review back in October]
LEARNING CURVES
A couple of years ago, if you'd said to me that I'd be on line ups with James Dymond, The Thrillseekers, Standerwick, Ronny K and Signum I'd have laughed you out of town. But that's what has happened for me in 2014. Transcend, the brand I've been resident for since December 2013, made a lot possible last year, a lot that any budding trance DJ would be eternally grateful for. I even saw my name printed in Mixmag for the first time. Many aspects of 2014 were as surreal as the year before, but in a completely different way.
But the opportunity to learn is what has been the real take away from 2014 where Transcend is concerned - to learn about the scene, to learn about promoting and to learn as a DJ. Whereas my professional life has reached an unnerving and frustrating impasse, outside the office the learning curves have been like 'Road To Damascus' revelations.
I think back to the "warm up" set I did for Transcend at the 2013 Christmas Party and then to my slightly improved effort during the heat of the day at Kanya in Ibiza and then to how I would tackle the same sets now - they are worlds apart. You only take that next step by doing gigs.
Interestingly, the track responsible for my greatest DJing moment of 2014 also happens to be responsible for one of my most uncomfortable moments as a DJ in 2014. Alphazone's Rockin' was an epic, unforgettable moment during my closing set with Richie Knight at Tropi; the same track as an encore at the end of my set with Ben at our London Launch didn't work and I spent the entire 8 minutes of the track wanting it to end.
That said, the crowd on the dancefloor doesn't always see this. People like familiarity, they like connecting with others through mutually celebrated music and moments of shared experience.
DJing isn't just throwing out a continuous stream of unrelated dance music, however good that music is. (Which I've even seen from reasonably well-known trance names this year.) It isn't a pointless personal test of a DJs' ability to "mix anything into anything". Absolutely nobody in the crowd cares that you got those two tracks that were at completely opposite ends of the key scale to sound pretty decent. Or that you expertly rescued a track that was warped and moving all over the place. Or that you haven't memorized a BPM for 4 years and pitched the last track by +8. It's nice to say you can do these things, but it means absolutely nothing to anyone else who isn't a DJ.
DJing is a craft. You have to fashion something new. You have to take people on a journey. But the audience has to come with you on that journey. Otherwise, you are playing for your own ego. All of us are on our own journey and that journey isn't necessarily relevant to everyone else.
Taste among DJs is the same as it is for anyone, subjective, and DJs will argue about formats, methods and skill sets until they are blue in the face. But the reactions of a crowd are there for all to see. I've always said music is mood-driven and situational but on a dancefloor this is taken to another level.
Interestingly, the track responsible for my greatest DJing moment of 2014 also happens to be responsible for one of my most uncomfortable moments as a DJ in 2014. Alphazone's Rockin' was an epic, unforgettable moment during my closing set with Richie Knight at Tropi; the same track as an encore at the end of my set with Ben at our London Launch didn't work and I spent the entire 8 minutes of the track wanting it to end.
"Imagine if you went to see a comedian and knew all the jokes? Or a film and knew the ending? Why expect the DJ to play shit you know?" - Boy George on DJingI empathize a great deal with the above quote from Boy George. I long held this same view - that familiarity and sentimentality are boring; that the job of a DJ is to uncover hidden gems and open new doors in people's minds. You also realise throughout the course of any year that DJs, particularly of my level, are all hammering the same tired releases, plucking from the same dreary charts and Beatport features, all slaves to their chosen genres and idols.
That said, the crowd on the dancefloor doesn't always see this. People like familiarity, they like connecting with others through mutually celebrated music and moments of shared experience.
DJing isn't just throwing out a continuous stream of unrelated dance music, however good that music is. (Which I've even seen from reasonably well-known trance names this year.) It isn't a pointless personal test of a DJs' ability to "mix anything into anything". Absolutely nobody in the crowd cares that you got those two tracks that were at completely opposite ends of the key scale to sound pretty decent. Or that you expertly rescued a track that was warped and moving all over the place. Or that you haven't memorized a BPM for 4 years and pitched the last track by +8. It's nice to say you can do these things, but it means absolutely nothing to anyone else who isn't a DJ.
DJing is a craft. You have to fashion something new. You have to take people on a journey. But the audience has to come with you on that journey. Otherwise, you are playing for your own ego. All of us are on our own journey and that journey isn't necessarily relevant to everyone else.
"An artist is always on a journey of self-expression. You grow as an artist and you grow as an entertainer and you continue to display that in a more finished and mature manner. Your technique is better and the perspective and depth of your thought." - George CarlinIt's such a fine balancing act and it's one of the main reasons why DJs are churning out and playing out so many mash ups and bootlegs these days. It keeps the familiarity while actually trying to surprise the audience.
Taste among DJs is the same as it is for anyone, subjective, and DJs will argue about formats, methods and skill sets until they are blue in the face. But the reactions of a crowd are there for all to see. I've always said music is mood-driven and situational but on a dancefloor this is taken to another level.
The main upshot of that learning process has been the reorganising of my DJing music and the switch to
using Pioneer's program, Rekordbox. While my old CD cases have just been piles upon piles of CDs containing tunes I love, tunes I have played in my podcast, for the first time I have thought about what tunes are suitable for dancefloors and which tunes define the moods I want to create and when. Good DJs have always and will always be knowledgeable, but so much of DJing now is being able to impose some order and sense on the mountains upon mountains of good music out there. This process is creative in itself.
I remember some of the early house parties I DJed at for friends, leafing through literally 100s of CDs, some containing tracks I could barely remember, my selection of tracks was so chaotic and panicked. I've improved a lot since then, but I'm finally leaving my battered old CD cases behind and embracing USB. It's been an arduous task and one that isn't even finished yet. But it will transform me as a DJ. The notion of doing a fully pre-prepared tracklist for a gig will be long long gone.
I remember some of the early house parties I DJed at for friends, leafing through literally 100s of CDs, some containing tracks I could barely remember, my selection of tracks was so chaotic and panicked. I've improved a lot since then, but I'm finally leaving my battered old CD cases behind and embracing USB. It's been an arduous task and one that isn't even finished yet. But it will transform me as a DJ. The notion of doing a fully pre-prepared tracklist for a gig will be long long gone.
Whether the number of gigs in 2015 is 0 or 100, that sense of transformation is still gratifying. Very much
like when I ended my relentless music discovery phase and drew a line under it
by retiring my Last.fm journal; this feels like a very similar juncture in my
life.
I set myself the target of doing 10 gigs in 2014. And I did achieve that. Highlights were definitely my warm up set for the Ibiza Transcend in May (which became TPHP Ep 98), playing alongside Ben as Dickinson & Dursley at Journey in August and, of course, going b2b with Rich Knight at Tropi Ibiza.
TRANSCEND
Transcend spent most of its year entertaining crowds in Bristol which meant many more nostalgic trips back to the city where I spent 3 years as a student. We had a good, vibrant, loyal crowd in Bristol with Transcend. People who have later become our very good friends - Joe, Jamie, Emma, Alex and Paige in particular.
But it was a small crowd. At
times it felt like we were promoting in a ghost town. Yet, such is the magic
that Transcend has stoked even in its early days in a tiny bar in Brighton, we
still managed to put on a handful of parties with genuinely electric
atmospheres. The Ibiza night in May in particular was something else,
especially considering there were no headliners. Truly special memories.
Really, when I think back, it
was Transcend's First Birthday with Signum and The Thrillseekers in February
that really summed up 2014.
I travelled back from Merseyside after the funeral of one of my closest and longest friends' mother and was at Transcend in Bristol that very same day. The day before multiple trains out of Euston had been cancelled after someone threw themselves in front of a train and I didn't make it to bed until 3am after hours of stressing. I didn't think I'd make it back for the funeral at one point.
On the night at Transcend, my mixing was atrocious yet by the end of it I'd DJed on the same line up as legends I'd been listening to since the very beginning. (For almost 15 years.) That juxtaposition of pain and joy, as well as the general sense of emotional exhaustion, really encapsulated the entire 12 months.
I travelled back from Merseyside after the funeral of one of my closest and longest friends' mother and was at Transcend in Bristol that very same day. The day before multiple trains out of Euston had been cancelled after someone threw themselves in front of a train and I didn't make it to bed until 3am after hours of stressing. I didn't think I'd make it back for the funeral at one point.
On the night at Transcend, my mixing was atrocious yet by the end of it I'd DJed on the same line up as legends I'd been listening to since the very beginning. (For almost 15 years.) That juxtaposition of pain and joy, as well as the general sense of emotional exhaustion, really encapsulated the entire 12 months.
Transcend continued to grow and develop last year, under some occasionally difficult circumstances, it must be said. I genuinely believe that we can consider ourselves on a par with our peers in the industry. Not in terms of the money we can throw at a line up or the bus loads of people we can bring to some fat-cat super brand’s event, but in terms of the fun and energy of our parties and the knowledge of our residents. Genuinely, I don’t think there is a more knowledgeable set of residents in this country than us – Karl on his own sees to that. In Ben and Karl I have found 2 DJs who understand the art in the same way I do and we are trying to translate that into a brand with a clear identity.
Truth be told, among the myriad of promoters in the now saturated UK trance scene, we are still a relative unknown. Moving to London creates opportunities, while also making this sense of being unknown fresh and all the more acute. Many coming to our parties for the first time in 2014 might have arrived with modest expectations. We have almost always delivered well beyond these expectations in the minds of those that have attended our nights.
Transcend has to see itself in those terms if it is to continue growing. It shouldn't under-sell itself. It’s our core principles that truly make us who and what we are. Never compromise.
Outside of Transcend there were some other great memories too. Like seeing Infected Mushroom again at Ministry of Sound in October, mine and Nish's birthday celebrations at the very end of January, St. Paul's Carnival for Ben's birthday in July, my first Trancecoda at the end of May, playing a micro festival on the August bank holiday, playing for Hush in Brighton in November and going to one of the best Trance Sanctuary parties I've ever attended in the shape of their collaboration with Off The Rails that same month.
Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope. - The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
GET BUSY LIVING, OR GET BUST DYING
Days were long; weeks longer still. A professional goal that seemed like a life-changer and so tantalisingly close is now tragically forlorn on a distant horizon. The daily grind held me back in so many respects.
Once my Rekordbox project is complete, TPHP will be back with a vengeance - even without this blog. (So look out for me on SoundCloud, MixCloud, Twitter etc.) Shifting to monthly episodes, it'll make use of the move to Rekordbox and feature more techno, deep prog and a greater variety of new and old. The whole thing is going to become more mood driven. While I still have time for it as a style, I'm going to be leaving behind much of the slower tempoed, middle-of-the-road trouse music, particularly the Coldharbour sound that has influenced my podcast so much in the last 18 months. In the context of what I learnt during my gigs last year, it doesn't feel at all relevant anymore. And more of my practice time will be focused on trying to develop the more technical aspects of DJing, just trying things out, rather than just churning out promos.
THE PHIL-HARMONIC PODCAST 109 – THAT WAS 2014 – PART 3
So, I can tell what you're thinking. With all of these good things happening, why the negativity? Why the trepidation?
Without exposing too much of the details to the public domain, professionally, 2014 was a hard year. At the close of 2013 I spoke about being drained. But I was still full of optimism. It was a sense of a job well done and hope for yet more successful days to come. And at least I had Sri Lanka to recharge the batteries.
In 2014, I often lacked energy and I was ill far more often than usual. In June, I had one of the worst bouts of flu I can ever remember having and missed Richie Knight's wedding.
Days were long; weeks longer still. A professional goal that seemed like a life-changer and so tantalisingly close is now tragically forlorn on a distant horizon. The daily grind held me back in so many respects.
“Never be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
My podcast has been an important expressive mechanism for me now for almost 4 years. Almost a coping mechanism. Yet, for a multitude of reasons, I could barely get an episode out by the end of the year. Since getting back from Prague in October, I've been skint, exhausted and, Karl Pilkington-style 'fed up'. Professionally neglected; working hard but going nowhere. This in itself is completely demoralising.
I almost feel like I ran out of days in 2014. That the 365 days I had wasn't enough. By the time I realised what I needed to do, the year was almost over.
I almost feel like I ran out of days in 2014. That the 365 days I had wasn't enough. By the time I realised what I needed to do, the year was almost over.
But boo hoo. Let's all get those tiny violins out. This is probably the last time I will ever make use of this space, or any space, for the narcissistic ramblings that have typified all my blogs and forum interactions over the years - so where else can it look other than the future?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying."
Once my Rekordbox project is complete, TPHP will be back with a vengeance - even without this blog. (So look out for me on SoundCloud, MixCloud, Twitter etc.) Shifting to monthly episodes, it'll make use of the move to Rekordbox and feature more techno, deep prog and a greater variety of new and old. The whole thing is going to become more mood driven. While I still have time for it as a style, I'm going to be leaving behind much of the slower tempoed, middle-of-the-road trouse music, particularly the Coldharbour sound that has influenced my podcast so much in the last 18 months. In the context of what I learnt during my gigs last year, it doesn't feel at all relevant anymore. And more of my practice time will be focused on trying to develop the more technical aspects of DJing, just trying things out, rather than just churning out promos.
I'm not going to set any targets for gigs or for Transcend but I hope to be more and more busied by both, giving more of my time to both, not just next year but well into my 30s.
I hope to continue travelling - with Germany, Holland and Ibiza VI potentially on the cards this year - and meeting more trance-loving people where possible, of course.
Looking to January and February, there is a lot of work to be done. No beaches, no sunsets, and no wild parties - just a lot of nights locked away getting shit done. But its all for the greater good.
Come next year or the year after, I don’t know where I will be, or where Transcend will be, or even where the podcast will be. But that’s all part of the fun. At the end of it all, all those years passed, all those words written, truths spoken, arguments had, situations analysed, beats matched, podcasts posted, hours spent, there is only one plan.... be happy. I hope you’re planning the same.
That was 2014...See you around!
THE PHIL-HARMONIC PODCAST 109 – THAT WAS 2014 – PART 3
1. Anske - Vilnius
[June / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 101
2. Ben Gold - Thriller
[February / Garuda]
Featured In: TPHP 89
3. Tonerush - Space Technology (Digital X Remix)
[June / Unique Sense Records]
Featured In: TPHP 101
4. Max Graham - The Evil ID (Mark Sherry Remix)
[March / Re*Brand]
Featured In: TPHP 92
5. Ronski Speed with Stoneface & Terminal & Synthea - Yuma (Stoneface & Terminal Remix)
[June / Euphonic]
Featured In: TPHP 101
6. Lange - Imagineer (Alex M..O.R.P.H. Remix)
[November / Lange Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 106
7. Airsoul - Rio
[February / Alter Ego Progressive]
Featured In: TPHP 91
8. Solis & Sean Truby with Audrey Gallagher - Skin Deep
[September / Infrasonic Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 104 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
9. Mike Koglin & Fassbender - Taiko
[July / Vandit]
Featured In: TPHP 101
10. Orkidea - Purity
[November / Pure Trance Recordings]
Chosen By: Asko Huuki
11. Three Drives - Sunset On Ibiza (Will Atkinson 10000 Remix)
[June / Armada Digital]
Featured In: TPHP 102 (Requests Of The Villa Guests 2014)
Chosen By: Douglas Archibald
12. Driftmoon - Bittersweet (Temple One Remix)
[February / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 88 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
13. Ferry Tayle feat. Poppy - The Way Back Home (Dan Stone Remix)
[June / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: A Higher State 35
14. John O'Callaghan & Jennifer Rene - Games (Standerwick Remix)
[August / Subculture]
Featured In: TPHP 103 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
15. Harmonic Rush - He's The Pirate
[April / CDR - Free Download]
Featured In: TPHP 95 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
16. Johann Stone - White Walkers
[January / Discover Dark]
Featured In: TPHP 84 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
17. Vlind - Democracy (Speech Version)
[September / Monster Force]
Featured In: TPHP 105
18. Paul Rigel - Never Look Back
[June / Blue Soho Recordings]
Featured In: A Higher State 32
19. Solis & Sean Truby feat Irina Makosh - Forever (Moonsouls Remix)
[July / #138]
Featured In: TPHP 105 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
20. Adam Ellis & Neev Kennedy - Reason To Believe
[October / Amsterdam Trance Records]
21. Harmonic Rush - Head Rush
[June / Monster Force]
Featured In: A Higher State 32
22. Too Many Artists - Beauty Minefield Drill (Dave Correa MASH)
[Decemeber / CDR - Free Download]
23. Andy Moor - Fade To Light (ReOrder Remix)
[June / AVA Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 102 (Requests Of The Villa Guests 2014)
24. Dan Stone - Lucca
[September / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 104
[June / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 101
2. Ben Gold - Thriller
[February / Garuda]
Featured In: TPHP 89
3. Tonerush - Space Technology (Digital X Remix)
[June / Unique Sense Records]
Featured In: TPHP 101
4. Max Graham - The Evil ID (Mark Sherry Remix)
[March / Re*Brand]
Featured In: TPHP 92
5. Ronski Speed with Stoneface & Terminal & Synthea - Yuma (Stoneface & Terminal Remix)
[June / Euphonic]
Featured In: TPHP 101
6. Lange - Imagineer (Alex M..O.R.P.H. Remix)
[November / Lange Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 106
7. Airsoul - Rio
[February / Alter Ego Progressive]
Featured In: TPHP 91
8. Solis & Sean Truby with Audrey Gallagher - Skin Deep
[September / Infrasonic Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 104 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
9. Mike Koglin & Fassbender - Taiko
[July / Vandit]
Featured In: TPHP 101
10. Orkidea - Purity
[November / Pure Trance Recordings]
Chosen By: Asko Huuki
11. Three Drives - Sunset On Ibiza (Will Atkinson 10000 Remix)
[June / Armada Digital]
Featured In: TPHP 102 (Requests Of The Villa Guests 2014)
Chosen By: Douglas Archibald
12. Driftmoon - Bittersweet (Temple One Remix)
[February / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 88 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
13. Ferry Tayle feat. Poppy - The Way Back Home (Dan Stone Remix)
[June / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: A Higher State 35
14. John O'Callaghan & Jennifer Rene - Games (Standerwick Remix)
[August / Subculture]
Featured In: TPHP 103 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
15. Harmonic Rush - He's The Pirate
[April / CDR - Free Download]
Featured In: TPHP 95 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
16. Johann Stone - White Walkers
[January / Discover Dark]
Featured In: TPHP 84 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
17. Vlind - Democracy (Speech Version)
[September / Monster Force]
Featured In: TPHP 105
18. Paul Rigel - Never Look Back
[June / Blue Soho Recordings]
Featured In: A Higher State 32
19. Solis & Sean Truby feat Irina Makosh - Forever (Moonsouls Remix)
[July / #138]
Featured In: TPHP 105 <<<(Tune Of The Episode)>>>
20. Adam Ellis & Neev Kennedy - Reason To Believe
[October / Amsterdam Trance Records]
21. Harmonic Rush - Head Rush
[June / Monster Force]
Featured In: A Higher State 32
22. Too Many Artists - Beauty Minefield Drill (Dave Correa MASH)
[Decemeber / CDR - Free Download]
23. Andy Moor - Fade To Light (ReOrder Remix)
[June / AVA Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 102 (Requests Of The Villa Guests 2014)
24. Dan Stone - Lucca
[September / Always Alive Recordings]
Featured In: TPHP 104
